non-existent sorrows and apple juice
by Empress of Everything
Summary: Trying to drown non-existent sorrows in apple juice is harder than it sounds. Especially when you are suddenly attacked by a girl intent on protecting her sister from your slightly tipsy best friend. Poor Midnight. He really just wanted to stay home and read... {MidKino, CoLu, Modern AU}


Prompt: please restrain your slightly tipsy friend from hitting on my sister.

* * *

"Excuse me."

Midnight looked up from where he was trying to drown his (non-existent) sorrows in his fifth cup of apple juice. He wasn't a big drinker, but Cobra was, and he often dragged Midnight out, whether he wanted to go or not. Cobra could be very… _persuasive_. So if Midnight didn't want all of his books mysteriously vanishing and strange chemical smells coming from their shared kitchen, it was usually best just to go with Cobra when he went drinking.

And why apple juice? Midnight had discovered, by trial and error, that apple juice was one of the few things that enabled him to stay awake. His narcoleptic tendencies faded as long as he had apple juice. So as weird as Cobra found it, if he wanted his best friend to be conscious while they were out, he would give Midnight access to unlimited amounts of apple juice.

Besides, how _else_ was Cobra supposed to get home?

But that previous bar experience hadn't prepared him for suddenly being pounced upon by a _very_ furious member of the female species. His red eyes met irate brown ones. Midnight felt his defenses come up. He knew what it was like to have a woman angry at you. The last time he had upset Meredy, he had felt it for a week. "Can I help you, ma'am?" He hoped that the calm and polite tone was enough to defuse the situation.

When she continued to glare at him, he realized that he was wrong.

And she was most likely about to kill him.

"Are you with _that man?_ " She demanded, pointing toward Cobra, who was now attempting to charm a very pretty blonde woman, who seemed familiar to Midnight.

"Er, yes, I know him." _Even though I wish I didn't_.

The white haired woman seemed to increase in fury as he watched. A slight trickle of unease and alarm ran down Midnight's back. The woman planted a hand on her hips and stabbed a finger toward him.

"He is flirting with my sister. Make him stop or I will do something I will regret."

Midnight's left eyebrow ratcheted up to his hairline. This was new. Of all the times Cobra had dragged him out, he didn't think he had ever been confronted by an angry sister intent on protecting her sister from his friend.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, that my friend flirting with your sister has upset you. But I can assure you, she is in no danger from Cobra. He may be mildly inebriated, but he isn't dangerous." He took a sip of his drink, then held out a hand to the woman. "I'm Midnight, by the way. Nice to meet you."

Brown eyes blinked several times before they softened. The fury drained out of the woman's shoulders. A tiny smile crossed her face as she accepted his hand and shook it. "I'm sorry for getting angry at you. I'm just very protective of Lucy. I don't want her to get hurt. We've already have had five horrible men try to flirt with us tonight. And I'm Yukino. It's nice to meet you, too." She smiled at him. "It's a good thing our friend Erza isn't here tonight. She would have already impaled your friend, Cobra, you said?" Midnight nodded. Yukino giggled lightly and continued. "Yes, Cobra would have been skinned alive and his head mounted on a stake if Titania Erza had been here."

"Less trouble for me if Cobra meets an untimely end. I only have to pay food bills for one if he dies. I never knew roommates could eat so much." Midnight drawled. Yukino let out a belly laugh and slid onto the stool next to Midnight, her green dress shifting to expose her pale legs a bit. Midnight averted his eyes and refocused on his cup.

"What are you drinking?" Yukino asked curiously. "It doesn't smell alcoholic."

"That's because it isn't," he told her. He tipped the glass to show her. "It's just apple juice. I drink a lot of it to help keep me awake."

He could tell he confused her. "Keep you awake?" She said uncertainly, unsure if he was joking or not.

Flashing Yukino a rare smile, Midnight elaborated. "I'm a narcoleptic, and apple juice helps keep me awake. Cobra keeps me supplied when he wants to go out so I'm not snoring at the bar. It has happened before," he told her as her eyebrows attempted to decorate her hairline.

"That's…interesting." Yukino coughed, turning her head to the side. Midnight sighed and gave her a gentle poke.

"You can laugh. It's fine." Yukino looked at him, lips trembling, before she fell off her bar stool, howling with laughter. Across the bar, Cobra and Lucy looked up, startled by the sudden burst of amusement. Midnight sat stoically on his stool and signaled for a refill.

 _It was going to be a long night_ , he thought. But watching Yukino pick herself up off the floor and beam at him, he decided that he was fine with that. After all, the company of a pretty woman was better than non-existent sorrows and apple juice.

Even if she did laugh at him.

* * *

 **A/N:** Y'ALL. I HAVE CREATED A NEW CRACK PAIRING. MidKino! So cute!

So yeah, head cannon of mine: Midnight requires apple juice to keep him conscious. I'm sure it isn't true by any stretch of the imagination, but it's cute, so I'm rolling with it.

IMPORTANT!

If I were to host a MidKino week in late January/early February, who would be interested in participating? Send me a PM or leave a review and I'll get to working on the details. :)


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